The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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