I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
