Pappa wants mamma naked
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize