You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
