So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize