We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
