So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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