that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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