thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
