I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
