Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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