eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
