Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
