he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
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The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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