She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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