oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Randomize
