Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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