As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
