I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
