That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
