I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
