i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
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there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
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All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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