We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
