She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
smell my finger.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
