real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
