oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
