i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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