When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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