after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
