And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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