All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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