i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
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Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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