Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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