Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
