when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
