butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
