Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
