Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
