I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize