yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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