Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
