i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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