Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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