It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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