Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
