Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
