The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
