oh god the rape fog is back!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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