Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
