I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask