Whod you bang
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...