3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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