i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
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I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
PS: I just woke up from my shower
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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