I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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