Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
