I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
