I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
