there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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