I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
