Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
