Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
