Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin http://tfl.nu/0pd1
  Replies (65) Good night (3939) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson. http://tfl.nu/6x6n
  Replies (22) Good night (1758) Bad night (5692)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice. http://tfl.nu/2mv5
  Replies (11) Good night (1031) Bad night (3425)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out? http://tfl.nu/a2wn
  Replies (13) Good night (2798) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I just found a bag of teeth...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I just found a bag of teeth... http://tfl.nu/rg4d
  Replies (18) Good night (1394) Bad night (4778)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night http://tfl.nu/h77m
  Replies (3) Good night (3176) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg http://tfl.nu/vp09
  Replies (8) Good night (2436) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time. http://tfl.nu/u8ll
  Replies (27) Good night (1044) Bad night (3940)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out. http://tfl.nu/88jd
  Replies (10) Good night (1993) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards. http://tfl.nu/fq92
  Replies (8) Good night (1726) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups. http://tfl.nu/t5hn
  Replies (3) Good night (330) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up. http://tfl.nu/qoxa
  Replies (9) Good night (560) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON." http://tfl.nu/rycj
  Replies (5) Good night (1195) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/p6i2
  Replies (5) Good night (744) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school. http://tfl.nu/cu89
  Replies (1) Good night (876) Bad night (287)

Randomize