Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good