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Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
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