Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back

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  (617): but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back http://tfl.nu/ogq4
  Replies (30) Good night (1003) Bad night (2337)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!

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  (202): Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER! http://tfl.nu/jion
  Replies (30) Good night (4958) Bad night (811)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.

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  (610): Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand. http://tfl.nu/ms96
  Replies (10) Good night (4509) Bad night (1298)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.

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  (248): Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police. http://tfl.nu/zopt
  Replies (9) Good night (1679) Bad night (4579)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.

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  (601): Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin. http://tfl.nu/g9sf
  Replies (36) Good night (4189) Bad night (1728)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.

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  (206): I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day. http://tfl.nu/m69g
  Replies (10) Good night (3833) Bad night (1188)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha

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  (724): You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha http://tfl.nu/w49q
  Replies (2) Good night (872) Bad night (1060)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.

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  (778): the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting. http://tfl.nu/qa9b
  Replies (1) Good night (1345) Bad night (713)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish

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  (509): Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish http://tfl.nu/77ap
  Replies (11) Good night (2742) Bad night (1863)
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  (679): View more from Michigan

  I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.

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  (679): I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant. http://tfl.nu/n9jh
  Replies (6) Good night (1290) Bad night (704)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight

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  (717): I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight http://tfl.nu/6mb9
  Replies (2) Good night (831) Bad night (392)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities

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  (419): Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities http://tfl.nu/xynh
  Replies (9) Good night (541) Bad night (1839)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.

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  (301): He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession. http://tfl.nu/9fz9
  Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (328)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.

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  (617): The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout. http://tfl.nu/l6bu
  Replies (4) Good night (828) Bad night (375)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.

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  (780): So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/pwvq
  Replies (5) Good night (1676) Bad night (350)

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