Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.

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  (719): physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go. http://tfl.nu/oxgw
  Replies (2) Good night (2435) Bad night (556)
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  (716): View more from New York

  you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.

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  (716): you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all. http://tfl.nu/2dp0
  Replies (32) Good night (1896) Bad night (3827)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

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  (334): I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves. http://tfl.nu/rn3o
  Replies (41) Good night (12430) Bad night (1505)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt

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  (503): you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt http://tfl.nu/y7uz
  Replies (34) Good night (4569) Bad night (1279)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.

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  (978): My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober. http://tfl.nu/yr07
  Replies (13) Good night (4535) Bad night (836)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.

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  (972): It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians. http://tfl.nu/8vkd
  Replies (18) Good night (4732) Bad night (1557)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.

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  (907): You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn. http://tfl.nu/73y5
  Replies (6) Good night (2253) Bad night (1010)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.

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  (587): Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch. http://tfl.nu/ad1t
  Replies (6) Good night (2226) Bad night (659)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?

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  (785): She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no? http://tfl.nu/2hle
  Replies (4) Good night (2512) Bad night (552)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner

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  (757): The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner http://tfl.nu/cdsa
  Replies (9) Good night (2097) Bad night (760)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.

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  (636): Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome. http://tfl.nu/7z1r
  Replies (4) Good night (1114) Bad night (758)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.

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  (+44): I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks. http://tfl.nu/6xxg
  Replies (0) Good night (837) Bad night (365)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear

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  (215): I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear http://tfl.nu/l6yx
  Replies (2) Good night (298) Bad night (592)
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  (707): View more from California

  Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket

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  (707): Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket http://tfl.nu/p2ny
  Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (270)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.

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  (239): It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/4z4q
  Replies (0) Good night (336) Bad night (197)

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