I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.