We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?