She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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