remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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